Signed with Love

For the first time in my life I felt the cold sting of steel handcuffs biting into my skin. I couldn't believe I was actually getting arrested. The sheriff tightened the cuffs to fit my wrists, and I turned around to face him.

"You ready to do this?" the sheriff asked with a question in his eyes.
I gave him a coy smile, and just like in those cheesy action flicks I replied: "I was born ready."

The day started off like any other, my parents and two older sisters had already left the house, all four yawning due to lack of sleep. The light in my parents' room had been shining under their door, illuminating a small section of the hallway for a good amount of the night. What they were doing I can only speculate. My sisters, God bless their souls, were battling their own demons in the form of Chemistry formulas and Calculus equations. We all had a busy night, me especially. The combination of creeping darkness and slivers of moonlight through my blinds were perfect ingredients for the evil that was brewing within me. I knew evil had lain dormant in my soul for far too long, hidden in the recesses of mind and body, but tonight was the night evil would be resurrected.

My plan was flawless in every way, shape, and form. The best I had ever conjured was made that night, March 31st, it's still marked on my calendar as "Plan E." E for Evil. But you knew that. Midnight. A new day, a glorious new day, MUAHAHAHAHA, my evil laughter could be heard echoing off my bedroom walls. Opportunities such as these come but once a year and I had looked forward to this even more so than a child might on the first day of school, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving Day, or Halloween Night. Combine the feelings of anxiety, excitement, nervousness, thanks, and greed and you'll have the evening of March 31st. Perfection in essence; I was the puppet master, holding each character by the strings, bending them to fit my will. Who was to know that working behind the curtains was another character hiding from sight, one whom had placed me in the middle of the stage, preparing to work their magic on my unsuspecting soul.

As I walked to the bus stop I was only looking forward to the end of the day, when Plan E would begin. Oh the glory of it all, I knew this plan was the result of the rebel inside dying to get out. For three hundred and sixty four days of the year, I am a good girl, a dedicated student, an obedient daughter, and a dependable friend. On April 1st, I allow myself to turn my world upside down, I’m my alternate ego, the bad girl, the laziest student of the class, the rebellious daughter, and even my closest friends don’t know what to expect from me. This plan was a way to suppress that demonic being within me, satisfy its needs for one day out of the year, and be the angelic creature every day following it. School passed by in a blur, my friends were wary of me, they knew today's date and distanced themselves for fear of succumbing to my evil ways. But they need not worry, the play had yet to begin, the curtains yet to rise, it was almost time.

*Ring Ring*
"Hello?" In just that one word I could hear the worry and anxiety in my mother's voice emanating through the telephone wires, I convinced myself that she would be laughing later and didn't pay any mind to her emotions.

"Hello, is anyone there?" Again, that rising sense of panic.

"Hey ma, it's me." I allowed my voice to disguise the sarcastic tone it usually held when I was playing a prank on someone, I had learned to overcome this weakness these past years of maturity. I refocused on convincing my mother that something was terribly wrong.

"Joanna? Oh thank the Lord, where are you? Why didn't you answer your cell phone? Do you know how late it is?" I looked at the clock above the words "Austin Police Department," it was only 8:00, that was late to my parents. I snickered under my breath.

"Ma, I'm all right, but I don't have much time to talk. They only gave me one phone call." I had to bite my lip from laughing out loud, how awkward that line sounded, like something out of a movie. "I'm being held at the Austin Police Department ma, I got arrested and they need you and Daddy to come by and clarify a few things." The silence on the other line was the best part of that phone call, I could practically see the disbelief, anger, worry, and questions on my mother's face. "Mom, are you still there?" I cued my partner in crime, Sheriff Dane, nicknamed Daddy D to say his line.

In a loud voice he said: "Young lady, your time is up, time to go back to your cell." I winked at him and mouthed the words "thanks," Daddy D was awesome for helping me out like this. He was still a kid at heart and got as much of a kick out of this as I ever did.

The gasp that escaped my mother's lips was more like a hiss. I do believe she had thought this was another one of my infamous pranks, but was now convinced otherwise. Lovely, everything was falling into place quite nicely. "We'll come get you." The click on the other line was a bit sudden and unexpected but definitely satisfying. I hung up slowly and turned around to face Daddy D.
“We did it,” I exclaimed excitedly, “high five for Plan E.” The look on Sheriff Dane’s face stopped me cold in my tracks, all blood had drained from his face and he was looking over my head at something I knew I did not wish to see. A lump of fear was slowly swallowed in my throat and I closed my eyes and pivoted to see the horrors that awaited me.

"Oh shiznit." This was not good, nope, very not good. I was looking at a hulk of man muscle, bigger than Sheriff Dane, bigger than anything I'd ever seen. Steely eyes and a grim face, he was looking straight at me. Very slowly he pulled out his handcuffs and I knew what would happen next.

"Young lady, you are under arrest, and I think you know why." I stood open-mouthed at the head honcho of the Austin Police Department and thought "Holy Mary Mother of God, I've made a big mistake." Everything had taken a sudden 180 degree turn. How was this possible? Sheriff Dane and I had already worked out the plan, the area of the building we were in would be deserted save for him and I, my parents would come, flip out, then I'd tell them the good news of this being just another prank, and everyone would stay for milk and cookies and life would be happy once more. If only life were just milk and cookies.

For the first time in my life I felt the cold sting of steel handcuffs biting into my skin. I couldn't believe I was actually getting arrested. This was no joke, this was real life, and according to head honcho man I had committed a serious offense. Chills broke out across my body and I looked to Sheriff Dane for help, there was no life when I looked at him, he was staring straight ahead, without emotion. He was just as S.O.L. as I was. Handcuffs were then placed on my partner's wrists, and the lock and clang of metal bars sliding in front of my face, locking me forever inside a steel prison of desolation, extinguished the very fire of resistance burning within me.

I was surprised to find my cheeks wet with tears. "What had I done?" I was only playing. You can't keep me here! Nobody heard my cry, nobody saw my tears of frustration and loneliness. And yet there were still my parents, they'd get me out of this fix I was in, yes, that was it, they'd be my rescuers! Somewhere around the corner of my prison cell I heard a pattering of feet, I jumped to my feet awaiting my rescue.

"Sir, Ma'am, please step into my office, you'll get a chance to see your daughter soon." Those same words that were supposed to come out of Sheriff Dane's mouth came out of that man that had done this to me.

"Mama, Daddy, I'm over here!" That sharp intake of breath, I knew she had heard me.

"Jo?!?!? Where's my baby?"

"Esther, we need to follow this man, and see what he has to say. Girls, keep a hold of your mom."

My sisters were here too, oh man, I was still in a state of disbelief and shock. He would tell my family lies, they're all lies, I'm innocent I tell you! Fifteen agonizing minutes passed by, fifteen minutes of lies and deceit. Finally! I stared at my family through these bars of desolation, what I saw was hurt, anger, mistrust, how would my family ever trust and believe in me after this?

That man, oh how I hated him. "She'll be spending the evening here, but because she's still a minor she'll be able to leave in the morning." No words were exchanged as I looked helplessly at my family, they just stared at me. Like I was a caged animal or something, something foreign to look at with wide eyes and open mouths. I had enough of this, I turned my back to them until I heard their receding footsteps and the door locking closed again.

That night was filled with nightmares and tears, fitful sleeping, tossing and turning, never fully asleep, trying desperately to get even an ounce of good sleep. But these barren walls wouldn't even allow me that luxury. I opened my eyes around 6:00 A.M., the sun slanting through the caged window mocked me, a reminder of a life I once had that will never be again. It took me awhile to realize something had changed since the evening before, what was it? Curiosity aroused me from the bed, I looked around slowly, wondering, wondering. What was it? Oh that's weird... huh... it took my brain a bit to register that my prison doors really were wide open. I was dreaming, that had to be it. I pinched my skin just to really wake me up. "Ow!" A red mark appeared on my skin... huh... that's pretty weird too. I got up slowly, thinking this was some cruel prank, that when I approached the doors they'd lock again somehow. But they didn't. Barefoot I crept to the end of the hall, a simple brown envelope with my name on it awaited me on top of a table.

I opened it and shook out the contents, a piece of white computer paper fell facedown on the floor. Picking it up and turning it over I read in small print, at the center of the page, the words... "April Fools." " Signed with love: Sheriff Dane, Dad, Mom, Mag, Eileen, and "'Hulk.'"